Wednesday, Lucy nursed for 5 straight hours. She nursed almost all day, off and on and when she was off she only wanted to be held. I had some things that I wanted to do but not a lot. Enough to be a little bit irritated that they didn't get done though. But that's ok, because this period won't last forever.
I can't figure out when to put Lucy down. I don't want the only time I hold her to be when I nurse her. I want to see her face! So I hold her while she plays in my lap and soak up her sweet baby smiles. And then I hold her when she sleeps because she rarely sleeps alone. When I do put her in her swing to eat a bowl of cereal, I miss her! So I hold her almost all day and my arms get really tired. But that's ok, because this period won't last forever.
It could be argued by some that I hold her too much. I barely get any housework done. Some days I don't get either of us dressed. She even comes in the shower with us. But, this period won't last for forever!
She's not always going to want to nap on me. I won't be able to nurse her forever (apparently teens don't like being nursed?). One day she will want to move to her own big girl bed and I won't get to wake up to her sweet little face. So I'm soaking up as much time with my little girl as I can.
When I was pregnant I hated being pregnant and swore up and down that Lucy was our first and last biological child. I couldn't see past the pregnancy (and the morning sickness, and my belly!). While in labor for 43 hours, I kept telling my husband that next time was his turn. I couldn't see past the labor. When I felt like breastfeeding was going to kill me (story to come!), I didn't think I'd ever make it to the next day. I couldn't see past that pain and frustration.
But now that's all done. I'm not pregnant any more, it didn't last forever. Labor was *only* 43 hours, it didn't last forever either. And breastfeeding is no longer the worst part of my day - even that excruciating pain didn't last forever. I survived! I'm surviving!
I'm enjoying my time with Lucy so much, even though it is not the idyllic picture of motherhood I had, that I'm excited and looking forward to the next tiny Peterson to grace our home! And I really do hope that feeling lasts forever.