Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Finding My Purpose

I've been getting antsy lately. I feel this need to move, change, do something. And as usually accompanies my antsy feelings, I've also been feeling discontent. Why am I doing this? Why am I married? Why didn't I pursue a career, a different passion, travel more? Why, why, why? Antsy and discontent. And discouraged. What if I didn't follow God's plan for me, like I thought I was? What if I ruined everything? What if I'm not a good mother? A good wife? What if I'm doing it all wrong?

What if I'm focusing on all the wrong things?

One of the great things about being Catholic, for me, is that there is 2000+ years of wisdom right at my finger tips, for just about any problem. And one of the teachings of the Church is that each person has a vocation. A vocation is not a job, it is a way of life that is ordered so that we may love and serve God to the fullest possible extent*. For some people, they best love and serve God as consecrated religious (think: nuns, priests, sisters, monks, etc). Others like myself, love and serve God the best in a married state.

When I start feeling antsy and discouraged, I've started repeating to myself "It's for a purpose. There is a purpose." It's been mollifying for now, but I know there is more to it. There is a Catholic way to parent; there is a Catholic way to be married and I need to know what that is! It makes a huge difference when I'm doing something for a purpose rather than just filling my time up and wasting my days away. When my days are directed toward my purpose, then my time is redeemed, my mood is better, and everyone benefits. But when I feel like I've just wasted my time or am stuck in some Sisyphean nightmare, well, I'm sure you can imagine how awesome everything is then.

Finding my purpose

What to do, what to do? My first step is to slow down. I tend to get in a rush and act like I have to have ALLTHEANSWERSRIGHTNOW. I run around like a crazy person, starting projects and never finishing them, having a million tabs open in my browser, never feeling satisfied until eventually I give up and assume that I'm just not smart/brave/whatever enough. I love to start new things, but I freely admit that I have a hard time seeing them through. Marriage is forever though, there's no way out of this one! That's nice, I really do have a lifetime to work towards my purpose.

So here I am, breathing, praying, thinking about what's for lunch and what's my next step to order my life more fully towards God?

*I'm not a theologian, or even a paid one on TV. If I'm explaining something incorrectly, please let me know in an email: musicspreadsjoy @ gmail . com so that I can correct it!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Summer's almost over tl;d(w)r

Whoa. Though I didn't plan it, I took quite a break this summer. In fact, I took a break from just about everything, not just blogging. I took a break from starting any projects, from being in any groups, coughfromhouseworkcough. It happened so slowly that I didn't even notice until just a few days ago.

We did so much that to write a full blog post would be just ridiculous. So instead, I'm going to link up with Jenna at Call Her Happy (who also took a blogging break for the summer - welcome back Jenna!) for her tl;dr (too long; didn't read) recap.

  • There was A LOT of travel. Lucy took her first greyhound bus ride and first train ride, all in the same week.
  • We went to the beach, twice. Carolina Beach and Oak Island. I liked the Oak Island trip best. It was with extended family, which always brings with it little (big) anxieties about being in one house with SO many people for an entire week. But I'm happy to report that it went really, really well. At least from our perspective!
  • We took two trips up to Pittsburgh. We welcomed my newest sibling and Lucy's youngest Aunt to the family. Yay Aunt Abby!
  • Lucy has (barely) started walking. She's not a fan yet of letting go of any furniture, but she does enjoy pushing around her toys. Update: I have a *riveting* 30 second video of her standing ALL BY HERSELF. I will show it to just about anyone by request. If you're so lucky, I just might blog it too :)
  • Lucy and I took a one-day road trip to D.C. We celebrated the impending arrival of Lucy's future husband with his parents and their lovely church family. 
  • I read at least 10 books this summer, easy. I finally read "A Fault in Our Stars" and surprised myself by not crying. I thought it was a fun read actually, despite the heavy content.
Now that the school year has started, I'm feeling refreshed and looking forward to getting back into a routine. Of course, as soon as we think we're about to wind down, our calendar fills up with more trips. This month, Lucy and I are going to visit my best friend Bridget in Oswego, NY, we're hoping to get up to D.C. so that we can finally MEET Lucy's future husband (see 5th bullet), and Ryan has drill with the National Guard up in PA, so Lucy and I are hoping to fly up with him to visit family and attend Alumni Weekend/ ALF in Clarion. And here we thought we'd wind down this month.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Let's chat

I've officially taken so many photos and videos of Lucy that my phone has 0 memory space left. 0. When Ryan gets home, he'll show me how to take all the photos off my phone and put them into the computer for safe keeping. I hope she doesn't do anything cute in the next three hours.

In the meantime, feast your eyes and ears on Lucy's first "phone conversation" with her dada.

The Top Ten Books of My Life

Mandi (formerly of Messy Wife, Blessed Wife), challenged me on Facebook to list ten books that have stuck with me, regardless of literary merit. These are books that I consider as old friends. I turn to them for comfort, reaching for them over and over again. Surprisingly, I don't own many of them. Some of them, like Gone With the Wind, I read so many times that the book simply fell apart. Others I read in school and made a habit of checking them out of the library. I do intend on owning them though, in the hopes of introducing them to Lucy and sharing my loves with my love.

1. The Giver

2. Gone With the Wind *

3. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

4. Little Women (Bantam Classics)

5. I'll Take Manhatten (not available on Amazon. ??)

6. Ender's Game (The Ender Quintet Book 1)

7. Pope Joan: A Novel

8. Rome Sweet Home

9. the book of Tobit (an Old Testament book found in the Catholic Canon)

10. Pride and Prejudice (Dover Thrift Editions)

* I've also read Scarlet AND Rhett Butler's People. I don't care that they weren't authorized, I loved them still.

Lucy would like to add that her favorite books of her ENTIRE LIFE are:

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

The Wheels on the Bus

and Pride and Prejudice

**All links are Amazon Affiliate Links. Any time you get to Amazon through one of my links and buy something (not necessarily what I linked to), I get a small commission. This does not affect your purchase price in any way.

***Also, I have no idea why these images are blurry.

Monday, August 25, 2014

One. Her year in pictures

                                                 Newborn                            5 minutes later

It's amazing to me just how much can change in a year. One minute she can barely keep her eyes open and the next minute, she's got pigtails. Pigtails! I love scrolling through her pictures and seeing the changes happen all over again.

In one year, she's taken three trips to the beach, been on quite a few planes, taken several road trips to Charlotte NC and Washington, DC and puttzed around on a jet ski once. She's developed her own little gorilla crawl to make up for our hardwood floors and recently has started walking behind toys. To communicate, Lucy employs an impressive range of growls. She can say three words: "Dada" "Mama" and "Hi" and LOVES to "read" out loud to us in baby gibberish (oh yes, there is a video. And lucky you will get to see it soon!).

Lucy is such a busy baby. She's curious and friendly and has no fear. If you have food in your hand, you've become her new best friend. She can go up the slide and down the stairs like a boss. There's no stopping her now!

Want to take a scroll down memory lane with me?


First Bath!













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